Letter to my unborn baby

I found this in my documents folder today. I wrote it when I was 24 weeks pregnant. If I must say so myself… this is some pretty good shit!

Dear Dean,

You’re 24 weeks now and I’m so excited to meet you! The time feels like it’s been flying, but it’s still taking too long. I feel like I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.

I get paranoid about every little twinge and if I don’t feel you kick a lot like you mostly do, even though people keep telling me that it’s normal. I’m just so scared that something is going to keep you away from me, and I don’t think I’d be able to handle if anything happened to keep us apart. Your daddy would be just as distraught. You’re the life of this family already my little man!

It was your daddy’s 38th birthday yesterday and I baked him 2 cakes. One chocolate and one lemon. I don’t think I should eat that much sweet stuff because I was definitely feeling under the weather after all that cake! I hope that means that when you’re here, you won’t want sweets for supper! Maybe you can be a good influence on your daddy…

We bought your cot last week and I can’t stop looking at it and imagine seeing you in it. It feels a little unreal to know that I’m actually going to be a mommy…
Nolene was visiting us yesterday with your cousin and I never thought she would be a mommy either, but I guess the world has strange things in stock for everyone.

I can’t believe your due date is the day after your cousin’s birthday! It would be so funny if you came on his birthday. I think that would be an awesome present…

You’ve changed so much in my life already. I used to have the worst habits, like smoking and drinking, but for you I have given all of that up, and I am so happy!
We saw you on the scan last week and it was the most amazing thing! You were opening and closing your fingers, almost like you knew we were watching and were waving at us. Both your daddy and I had tears in our eyes. I love looking at you and I can still see you when I close my eyes. When you kick, even though it can get uncomfortable when you kick on the same spot, I close my eyes and put my hand on where you’re connecting just to feel even closer to you. I can’t wait to hold you against me and touch your tiny nose and fingers and toes.

I’m dreaming about you constantly and I wouldn’t have it any other way, even though some of the dreams are really weird and you are an alien baby, but even in those dreams, the love I feel for you is overwhelming…

My emotions are all over the place as well, and your poor daddy never knows how I’m going to react to something he says. I must say though, he’s coping really well!

Your daddy loves feeling you kick, and now that we can actually see my tummy moving when you kick, we love just lying in bed when you’re active and watch and feel you. He always says good morning and good night to you and he calls you his boy. It brings a lump to my throat because you are his greatest wish come true. All your cousins love him and they’re going to be so jealous of you that he’s your daddy.

When I look to the future, I know we’re going to be such a happy family. I tend to stress about the stupid things like money and stuff, but even if we’re as broke as church mice, the love we’ll be sharing between us will be brighter than the sun and more precious than diamonds.

For now my little man, please be strong and grow and develop well, for we’re all waiting for you and we can’t wait to meet you. Only 16 more weeks. I can wait that long if I know it means you’re going to be okay and healthy and strong when you get to us.

Forever yours,
Mommy